Top 10 Most Metamorphic Members (Part 2)

By Binibining Bangs & Ginoong Guimaras

And we're back for the much-anticipated, most awaited Aslag Online post to date, hahaha! It was actually surprising the Part 1 was such a big hit, so we've tried our best to make the finale part bigger and bolder.

So, here we go!

To have a larger view of the pictures, just click them


Ginoong Guimaras (GG): Starting up the Top 5 is the not-that-Big-anymore Marco, the member formerly known as Wilmer Ong!
Binibining Bangsamoro (BB): What can I say, fly away! Haha! From the brainy-boy look to the rugged-out-of-bed-messy look! Haha! May nabubuhay na atang ecosystem sa buhok niya!
GG: Trulalu! Mete ya ing industriya ning sukle uling melugi la keng ena paggamit sukle Marco! Haha!
BB: Ali mu sukle nune pati aswe ampong Gatsby industry meg-red alert! Haha! Komusta ne man ing mature image na po-project ng not-that-Big-anymore Marco?!
GG: Wapin! From a wallpaper member na halus e bubulad, atin ya pang eku-buring-magbrand-titles-equal kayu-ngan-potential-kaku na ababalu, ngening MemComm Head ne, hahaha!
BB: Yeah, mekapag-graduate yang 12 new members! Dinalan na keng painum-inum at pa-tennis-tennis! Haha! From chow Marco to sporty stud muffin!
GG: In fairness, after sporting the ecosystem going on above his head for months, just recently, pepatuli este pepagupit ne ulit! Kaya uyta, me-revive ne na naman ing barbershop industry!
BB: Shoshal ang lolo mo!


BB: Next on the ladder of the 5 models of skin aging is the ex-Treasurer, ex-PMT officer, ex-Honey Cyrille!
GG: Haha! Actually, balamu pin, ex-child star ya rin eh, lawen mu ne man in BEFORE pic na!
BB: Naman! Lupa yang Johnson’s Baby Powder with lavender and chamomile dati!
GG: Pero ngeni, huwag ka, Pond’s Oil Blemish Control Powder na ing poproject ng atchi mu! Haha!
BB: Chever yan! Iba talaga ang nagagawa ng chever sa buhay ng isang babae! Blooming ya talaga! Look at the smile oh, may pang-aakit na nagaganap!
GG: Obvious na madakal ne a-add and a-minus keng buhay! Hehe! Lawen me pa ing pose na keng sofa, very suggestive! May pataas-taas pa siya ng paa! Atse, pota ating lugub lango keng palda mu, haha!
BB: Bet na bet for more experiment! Haha! Wag kayo, migbayu ne outlook in life!
GG: Kaya naman, ahoy to boys out there, go na!
BB: No! In true Powerpuff Girl fashion, the Cy don’t like BOYS, she likes MEN, ahahaha!



GG: Aba, aba, aba, kung “change” ing pisasabyan, kadagul na advantage nini, dahil iya ing pekamalambat nang member ning Aguman ngeni, hahaha!
BB: Balamu Eat Bulaga dava!? 25 years ne keng TV este Aguman! Haha! King kalwat na king org pwede neng maging historian galore! History ng tsismis! Haha!
GG: Wa naman! Dakal neng changes a a-witness, bwahaha! Len mu ne man dati oh, balamu ating yang drug addiction problem going on keng kapayatan! Pero ngeni, atyan kung atyan, hahaha!
BB: At braso kung braso pa! haha Like what he always say “makataba ing problema.”
GG: Nako, ali mu problema, issues galore pa of national security pa amo! Haha!
BB: Ika namong maging ‘King Fisher’?! Walang sikretong hindi nabubunyag! Hindi namin kayo tatantanan! Haha!
GG: But kidding aside, source of ‘wisdom’ daw ang lolo mo! Atin ya laging asasabi kareng egana-ganang issue!
BB: At isipan mu waring miras yang 2^nd year na ena balu nung nanu ing tinggil ning kipschi at pepa-drawing napa nung nanu hitsura ita, pero ngeni, iya pa mismu manuru kareng kids nung makananu mag-blow… Kandila ne, lalu na patse birthday! Hahaha!
GG: At ngeni oh, lawen mu naman ing ebidensya! Mag-lasing-lasing ne ngeni!
BB: Pero! Ang tanong ng bayan – atin ne bang apasukung Bataan ing bapa mu?!



GG: Good morning Miss Bangsamoro!
BB: Good morning Mr. Guimaras. You may now sit down. Bwahaha!
GG: Titser kung titser! Kulang namu magtinda yang tocino anyang app ya pa! Haha!
BB: Akakit yu naman, keng BEFORE pic na, balamu mendam yamung blusa y dara mu kang apu mu, hahaha!
GG: Hindi na ngayon! Move over Kitty Girls, paiksi nang paiksi ang palda ni lola!
BB: Hindi lang palda, kundi pati likod – feeling ku pin one of these days mapulmunya yang e oras y dara mu kareng almost-backless everyday-costumes na! Haha!
GG: Tas kabira, megpabakud ya ring ngipan!
BB: Wapen! Anya magsikap yang makipagobra king cybersex den este tutor pala! Haha!
GG: Kumikitang kabuhayan!
BB: Para sa kalantungan ng ngipan! Hahaha!
GG: Malwat ku nang suspetya eh, atin ya talagang pangarap na bituin y Loree. E wari, iya first ever me-video na Spotlight. Ngeni naman sa-cyber kermi ya pa, haha! Atin ya talagang exposure-hunger!
BB: Trulalu! Japanese la pa talaga reng customers este tutee na!
GG: Huwaw! Modern day Japayuki ang drama! Haha! Halina’t mangolekta ng lapad! Haha!
BB: Pero nanung asabi yu, Socio Chair ne ngeni. Kamusta naman kanu, pati ing bulletin board ning tambayan me-make over!
GG: Sus, pati nga theme para keng Sining na, present la ngan deng colors of the rainbow, bwahaha!



GG: And of course, the most metamorphic of them all, ing sex symbol ning Arki – Allandail!
BB: Wa ko ma-say sa monumental metamorphosis! From Disney Quasimodo to High School Musical Troy Bolton! Haha!
GG: Hindi to kakayanin ng Belo at Calayan Medical Groups! Haha!
BB: But seriously, bet naman ang lolo mo sa kabila ng very demanding Arki life nya – chevering sa kabila ng plates! Haha!
GG: How convenient! Bwahaha!
BB: Balita ku, mitatagkil yamu kareng kapwa na Arki zombies, feeling da mababastus nala. Al is that hawt! Wehehe!
GG: In addition to that, si Allan ay hindi lang pang eskwela, pansimbahan pa! Haha!
BB: Oooh, a heartthrob in cloth, bet ko yan!
GG: Muret! Ene man mag-pari eh! Mag-serve yamu keng parokya da. I wonder nung pati keng simbahan eh bet de rin deng COMI girls, hahaha!
BB: Kaya nga abihag ne ing pusu ng Teacher Loree. Dati kasi, atin ya ring dayang madre keng sobrang hinhin, hahaha!
GG: Nako, anya ping bayu yang salta y Allandail keng ka-Maynilaan kanita, promding-promdi yay koya mu! Maka-long-sleeve sweatshirt ya on a late summer day, haha!
BB: But that’s sooo over na mga kafatid! Check-it out nyo naman ang new and improved Chalk-cutie-boy-next-door image! Complete with shorts, flipflops and celebrity hair! Bongga!
GG: Betchina Marie! Panalong panalo para sa Lakan ng Sinukwan 2007! Saktung saktu, December pamo, hahaha!
BB: Looks, fashion sense, personality.. lahat ibang-iba na talaga!
GG: Metung a madagul a tsek! Holistic transformation ever!
BB: Kaya naman, deserve ne talaga ing #1 spot, diba?

Ginoong Guimaras: So there, mga kapatid sa Aguman, our countdown of the Top 10 Most Metamorphic Members!
Binibining Bangsamoro: Sana naman metula kayu kareng penyabi mi. Aminan yu, you almost wet your pants keng kaka-ayli, bwahaha!

GG: So who are we? That's a secret we will never tell!
BB: We know you love us.. XOXO!
GG & BB: Til our next churky countdown!


ABANGAN! The Least Metamorphic Member Contest Promo!