Santa Who?

By Cuthzei
Originally published in the Christmas Aslag, AY 2004-2005

When I was a kid, I didn’t believe in Santa Claus. Why? I really don’t know why. I really don’t have a reason until someone asked me to write an article on when I stopped believing in Santa. How can I stop believing in Santa when in fact, I had not believed in him at all. Agh, confusing.

So I thought about it and suddenly, I came up with these corny, weird, sometimes exaggerated pseudo-theories why as a child, I never waited for that big jolly man on Christmas Eve.

Chubby-Challenged Theory
Blame it to my uncles or male relatives for that matter. Nobody seems to be that fat enough to disguise himself as Jolly Old Santa. There was no attempt or whatsoever plan to be the family’s mascot. Thank goodness! They were really careful so as not to disappoint the little children around. Just imagine a malnourished Santa, surely the kids will freak-out.

Practicality Theory (ampao over socks)
Hanging socks on the wall is a fun thing to do but waiting for these to fill up with gifts and candies is another story. Little Ms. Practical decided it’s better to receive ampao (red envelopes) with cash instead.

Creepy-Toys Theory
Maybe it’s a Halloween hangover that I associated elves with the pinoy “dwendes.” (Beware: they may have descended from the same genealogy!) Knowing that Santa’s gifts are elf-made, don’t you think it’s kinda creepy to be playing with these toys? Be careful not to break them for a spell might be cast upon you J.

Survival-of-the-unfit Theory
Christmas is the season of merry-making and food binges. Time to indulge in sinful goodies and gain weight almost naturally. Someone just have to eat and survive you know! So why starve yourself waiting for that “Ho-Ho” man to descend from the skies?

Disappointment Theory
I know that sometime in your kiddie-life, you’ve wished for an almost impossible gift. And as luck would permit it, Santa did not grant you your wish! Then you start asking yourself, “Have I been that bad?!” Believing in Santa Claus can be quite disappointing especially when wishes don’t come true.

Realistic Theory
This follows the Disappointment-Theory because after being sad and disappointed, you’ll realize who the real Santas are-- your parents! Of course by this time you should have known that they’re the ones who had been faithfully granting your whims and wishes. Now is the opportune time to thank them for all the love and gifts they’ve showered you.

Animal-Lover Theory
I have so much concern with animal welfare that abusing them is a big no-no for me. Why, look at poor Rudolph! Santa continued delivering his gifts with Rudolph leading the pack despite Rudolph’s colds. Santa should be ashamed! Pitiful Rudolph!

Family-Values Theory
I don’t want a broken family! Okay, so that’s an exaggeration. But as a child, who would want to see their mom being kissed by Santa Claus? For goodness sake! I can never imagine myself moving out to the North Pole.

Myself-as-a-Santa Theory
Now, this is a serious one. I just love giving away gifts. Wrapping gifts and giving them to special people is such a heart-warming experience. Maybe this is a good reason why I don’t believe in Santa because I want to be Santa myself.

No-Chimney Theory
This is my favorite reason (excuse) why I don’t believe in Santa. Santa can never visit me during Christmas Eve simply because our home has no chimney or a fireplace! So why bother?

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Simbang Bengi

By Herald's
Originally published in the Christmas Aslag, AY 2004-2005

Cabang lalapit ca quing luclucan cu
Carugcarug ya ing cacung salu
E cu balu nung bakit o nung nanu
Anti cu mong ating buring sabyan canacu

Peunan da na ca pin mang magsalita
Uli na ning maulaga ya ata
Ding laue mu gagalgal la pa
At piadian mo ring quecang salita

Saquit a panandaman sibucnan cung isalicut
Dapot e cu balu nung macananung gumulut
Uling lugud a metipun maluat a panaun
Binaui mu quing metung a gatpanapun

Mipapulai cu quing quecang sinabi
Macatapilan cung inisip ing mipalyaring iti
Angga na pin man quing pamanuli
Quiquiac cung magdilidili

Panyung tatalnan icua nang mebasa
Uling alang patugut tutulu ing lua
Taglus0taglus quing eran alang sala
Pasbul binuclat, migducmu, ginaga

Bie ala na pin mang casilbian
Anti cu mong caban a mipanacauanan
Masanting namu’t ating cacaluguran
Kasaup, kayabe king beyatan

Caibat na nita micabieng pasibayu
Muang panandaman, ena mipacalalu
Mas masanting mung bage siguru
Ing makaadya para quecatamu

Yanapin man ing mipalyari
Meging mayan ing pamikawani
Pareung sinulung a e sinisi
Matahimik a bie ing denasan tamu ngeni

Pasulung ing panaun pasku daratang
Tumagun cung misa quetan pisamban
E ca marine guiang ditac man
Inya linucluc ca quing canacung uanan

Ing misa miras ne quing ‘Ibpa Mi’
Bubulung ca, Oyni na ing cacatacutan cung dili
Yacu naman, nga cung cinabi
Ot ecu agad inisip ing mapalyaring iti

Cacurap cu mitatatalan na cata
Eya talan e mcaquilala
Nune anti ya caring mipalsinta
A e miquiquit maluat a maluat na

Anti cata mong micaintindi
Ining gamat cu e mu ne binili
Saya ing panandaman at e sinisi
Uling mibalic ca canacu quing Simbang Bengi

UP Aguman crowns its first ever 'Mutya'

December 14, 2007 -- Serving as the 34th Anniversary Week's culminating event, the first ever Mutya Ning Aguman was held in a function room at the University Hotel. The Aguman residents came in their formal attire to cheer and support their respective committee representatives. A sumptuous dinner of baked macaroni, prawn sticks and special iced tea was enjoyed by everyone.

Inspired by the famous annual 'beauty pageant' Miss Eng'g held during the College of Engineering Week, Mutya Ning Aguman featured AguBoys from the different Aguman committees dressing up in women's clothes.

The 5 contestants were:
*Aga Retirado (Kadaya 2005A) AKA Dolce Gabuna as Miss Earth
*Andrew Santiago (Kadaya 2005A) AKA Ma. Margarita Pirena y Lagablab as Miss Fire
*Kevin Peñalba (Langgotsi 2006B) AKA Rio Aquamarine Irrawaddy Nieves as Miss Water
*Jann Nicolas (Baskal 2007A) AKA Halle Parot as Miss Wind
*Buduy Mallari (Lakatan 2006A) AKA Rosa Acacia y Marijuana as Miss Wood

Unfortunately, the Educational Committee's representative, Jerome Ocampo, could not make it during the night's pageant due to two major exams the following day.

In just a little over than one week, the AguPips, through their respective committees, were able to showcase their teamwork, creativity and artistry as they worked to produced the attire and costumes of their committee's representatives.

There were 3 rounds of competition: Talent, Costume and Interview. The winners of the special awards were:
*Miss Photogenic - Jann Nicolas, Miss Wind (Photo featured Jann as a round girl in a boxing match)
*Flawless Skin - Jann Nicolas, Miss Wind
*Best in Costume - Kevin Peñalba, Miss Water
*Best in Talent - Kevin Peñalba, Miss Water (Performance featured a reprise of his Hindi Ako Bakla (by Michael V) number in the Langgotsi 2006B Talents Night, mashed with a remix of Rihanna's Umbrella.)
*Voter's Choice - Buduy Mallari, Miss Wood


ABOVE: Kevin gracefully poses as Miss Water during the Costume Competition.

The Top 3 finalists were Wood, Wind and Water. The final question was "What is the epitome of a UP student?" After seemingly lost for words and stumped by the question for a few moments, the eventual winner, Miss Water, eventually replied that a UP Aguman member is the perfect example of a UP student, because well, they are "perfect". Miss Wood and Miss Wind, were the 1st Runner-Up and 2nd Runner-Up respectively.


LEFT: The 5 contestants during the Costume Competition. L-R: Fire, Earth, Water, Wind and Wood.
RIGHT: The "Mutya Ning Aguman" winners. Buduy Mallari as Miss Wood - 1st Runner-Up, Kevin Peñalba as Miss Water - Mutya Ning Aguman, Jann Nicolas as Miss Wind - 2nd Runner-Up

The panel of judges consisted of five alumni who graced the historic event:
*Gerry Pangan, Siklab 1980A
*Powie De Guzman, Siklab 1980A
*Joyce Dela Cruz, Tuglung 1998A
*Ngot Cruz, Sampelut 2003A
*Leah Salta, Sampelut 2003A

Other alumni present were:
Arnel David, Bucnul 1982A
Beyts Simon, Ambula 2000A
Maan Laud, Ambula 2000A
Alvin Bongcodin, Salagpi 2001A
Argel Casupanan, Salagpi 2001A
Jen Manalang, Kasaup 2002A
Ryan Aga, Kasaup 2002A
Celine Dagdag, Sampelut 2003A
Hazel Tobias, Kaputul 2004A
Zenicar Galban, Bucayo 2005B

The Least Metamorphic Member Contest winner was also announced during the formal dinner. Fergie Panganiban (Kadaya 2005A) won a Cerealicious gift certificate worth P150.

The whole 34th Anniversary Week celebration was made possible by the combined efforts of all the committees, headed by the Externals Committee who coordinated the various activities.

Day of the Kapampangans

By Robby Tantingco, published in SunStar Pampanga

This week, I urge all Kapampangans in the world—all one million of us—to celebrate Aldo ning Kapampangan (Pampanga Day) by making just one solemn commitment: to be proud of our history and to trust our destiny.

For indeed, we Kapampangans probably got more blessings than other people in this country did, and probably more blessings than we deserve. Our luck should give us enough confidence that we are destined not only to survive but also to prevail.

Ilocanos, for example, got a craggy strip for a homeland, and Visayans got scattered islands and Tagalogs a disorganized territory, but in the case of Kapampangans, God put us all together in one spot and in the best possible location—the central plain of the largest island, protected by mountain ranges on both sides and irrigated by a network of rivers and streams that empty into a bay. From the riches that the land easily yielded, we learned to be more traders than farmers, and developed a cuisine that's unlike any other.

God also gifted us with a beautiful language which the colonizers reconfigured by imposing on it an alien orthography. Instead of withering, our language thrived and even bloomed, producing a sublime literature whose volume and variety invite comparison with that of Elizabethan England.

Surrounded by a sea of different ethno-linguistic tribes, which made us insular in our world-view, we became patriotic and fiercely protective of our independence and way of life, so that when the Spaniards came in 1571, we were the only ones on this island who fought them. The first Filipino to give up his life to preserve his people's freedom—the first stirrings of nationalism—was a Kapampangan.

Our belligerent ancestors were eventually pacified, but in the end, they still outsmarted the enemy—because they proved that Kapampangans could defeat them even in their own turf. When they allowed us to train in their royal army, for example, we became so good that they totally depended on us in their expeditions and military campaigns; they even entrusted the capital city's entire royal army under the care of a Kapampangan (Francisco Laksamana in 1662).

When the Spaniards allowed us to study in their exclusive schools, we turned out to be brighter than they were and soon, the slaves they had thought were only good for cutting timber for their shipyards were graduating as doctors of laws and doctors of sacred theology. The country's first priests, first nuns, first missionaries, first president of the archdiocesan seminary, first woman authors and founders of orphanages and religious congregations— yes, they were all Kapampangans.

As Prof. Randy David puts it, Kapampangans became "the brown bearer of European culture and Enlightenment reason… who did not deserve to be enslaved by a foreign power" because they could beat that foreign power "in all the things by which human achievement is measured—art, education, engineering, philosophy, literature."

All Kapampangans should read the story of Martin Sancho, the Kapampangan who recited the entire catechism (in Spanish!) before an astounded King Philip II in 1587, barely 16 years after the Spaniards landed in Luzon. And he was only 10 years old.

Or the story of Phelippe Songsong of Macabebe, whose sanctity was already so well known while still doing missionary work in Guam, that when he died in 1684 at age 73, the Spanish Governor and military officials of that island carried his coffin on their backs and buried him with all the pomp and pageantry befitting a canonized saint of the Catholic Church..

The Spaniards themselves recognized Kapampangans as unique among the natives. King Charles II of Spain cited Kapampangans and only Kapampangans "for making important contributions to the defence of the entire colony." Fray Gaspar de San Agustin called us "the Castilians of these islands" and invented the formula "one Spaniard plus three Kapampangans equals four Spaniards." Jose Felipe del Pan referred to us as "the loyal companions of our disgraces and of our glories. Kapampangans, and only Kapampangans, were with us in that century of frustrations when we were harassed on all fronts. Brave people!" Juan de Medina wrote that Kapampangans always left their villages to join the army "in a fine appearance, for the villages donate money for their uniforms." Even the British journalist A.P. Thorton wrote in 1762 that the British were amazed by the military skills of Kapampangans, "who repeated the assaults (unlike Indians who fled at the sight of better armed British) and died like wild beasts, gnawing the bayonets." Kapampangans, del Pan wrote, were "the grand curiosity" of the region.

Other Filipinos today mock us for this loyalty, but loyalty was a sentiment expressed by only one sector of Kapampangan society. Another sector consistently expressed another sentiment—rebellion— and these two sentiments and two sectors coexisted throughout history. It is this dichotomy that makes our role in history truly colorful and unique. We were loyal where loyalty was deserved, or necessary, or expedient, and we severed our ties when it was time to do so. In the tradition of that Macabebe chieftain who became the country's first martyr for freedom, Kapampangans rose in arms whenever the conditions outraged their sense of justice, as in their revolts against the encomienda system in 1585, against the unpaid rice supplies in 1660, and finally against the cumulative abuses of the Spaniards in 1896.

Through the years of American colonization and Japanese occupation, Kapampangans— again, ahead of their compatriots in other regions—burned with fervor for social justice. It was Kapampangans who founded the country's first labor union (Union de Chineleros y Zapateros de Filipinos, by Felixberto Olalia in 1920), the socialist party (Partido Sosyalista ng Pilipinas, by Pedro Abad Santos in 1932), the guerilla movement in World War II (Hukbalahap, by Bernardo Poblete in 1942), the communist armed forces (Hukbong Mapagpalaya ng Bayan by Casto Alejandrino in 1950 and the New People's Army, by Bernabe Buscayno in 1965), the Kabataang Makabayan (by Nilo Tayag, in 1970) and the National Democratic Front (by Satur Ocampo, with Joma Sison, in 1973).

Warriors and defenders of the poor and the oppressed—this is the true nature and true calling of Kapampangans. God may have pampered us with natural resources and the colonizers may have treated us with favoritism, which gave us a veneer of vanity, conceit and softness, but deep inside, we are intensely altruistic, even heroic, maybe even messianic (which is why we left our Muslim and pagan ways in 1571 to embrace the religion which appealed to us, Christianity) . The boast Queng leon queng tigri e cu tatacut, queca pa? probably comes from the land itself—so beautiful and so vulnerable that we must defend it at all costs.

We nearly lost it all when Mount Pinatubo erupted in 1991. Now, in the midst of a cultural renaissance, our provincial and municipal leaders have chosen to waste their energies on a senseless duel-to-the- death that threatens to bring the entire province down with them.

I hope that our province's 436th founding anniversary will be an occasion for them to finally work together, instead of making it yet another battleground for their bitter, senseless fight.

____________
Thanks to Allandail for posting this on our Multiply account.
Anyway, Happy Pampanga Day everyone! Let's keep the Kapampangan spirit alive at the Diliman Campus!

Least Metamorphic Member Contest!

Ginoong Guimaras (GG): Well, well, well, look do we have here?!
Binibining Bangsamoro (BB): Hmmm.. is it a bird?
GG: No! Smaller!
BB: Err, a smaller bird?
GG: Ngek..
BB: Ah! A hummingbird! Hmm, aminin mo, maliit yung bird na yun! Hahaha!
GG: Hay nako! Ing pakamalan tamung Presidente ini, na keng karakal na nicknames, etana balu nung nanu ing iawus kaya, haha!
BB: Wapin, grabe oh, lawen mu ne man y Daphne through all the pictures, balamu mekwa la ngan in a single photoshoot with different wardrobe!
GG: Or copy-paste with Photoshop editing of the clothes! Haha!
BB: Kurak! Yan ang tinatawag na ‘Growth Gap’! Bwahaha! Pupusta ako, pati archeologist mahihirapan i-arrange yan! Haha!
GG: Ala kung asabi. Who would think that this microscopic organism is Aguman’s La Presidente dava?!
BB: Shooshal! Ot etaya mo iabe keng Kakasa Ka Ba Sa Grade 5?! Haha!
GG: As contestant?
BB: No no no! As a classmate! Bwahaha!


But wait there’s more! Check this out residents! A brand new contest promo here at Aslag Online!

MECHANICS: Notice the series of pictures of our dear President in the middle of the BEFORE and AFTER pics? Well, they are actually arranged out of order. If you are able to arrance these from the youngest Daphne to the not-so-youngest using the letters of the picture, you get a chance to win a Cerealicious Gift Certificate worth P150! Remember, only those with the correct answer will be eligible for the raffle draw of the prize. Submit your answers through the COMMENTS SECTION of this post.
DEADLINE of entries: December 14, Friday, 12AM.

So kamon mamon! It won't hurt to try. Push your luck! Hahaha!

To have a clearer view of the picture trail, just click it!

Genmeet highlights: December 6, 2007

By Felipe Pablo IV & kingofchocolates

An emergency gemeet was held last December 3, 2007 with the same agenda.

34th AGUMAN ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONS (DECEMBER 10-14, 2007)
*Anniversary Week is OrgShirt Week! Monday, December 10 is Pautakan 2007 (Blue) shirt day!

*UP Aguman Exhibit, as prepared by the Socio-Cultural and Externals Committee
December 10 - Molave Residence Hall
December 11 - Kalayaan Residence Hall
December 12 - Yakal Residence Hall *Unity Night 2007B, 4-7pm, December 12, Vinzon's Rooftop
An afternoon of fun, games and camaraderie with the new batch of applicants.

*Miss Aguman 2007, 6pm onwards, December 14, (Venue is TBA)
Six AguBoys (yep, you read that right! AguBoys talaga!) from the six committees will vie for the first ever Miss Aguman through a battle of guts, talent, wit and most importantly, beauty and grace, haha! This anniversary special is brought to you by the Externals Committee led by Kath Gatchalian (Bucayo 2005B) and Jowie Garcia (Kadaya 2005A).

The pageant theme for Miss Aguman 2007 is the elements of the Earth. The contestants are:
Ms Fire - Andrew Santiago (MemComm)
Ms Wind - Jann Nicolas (Exte)
Ms Water - Kevin Peñalba (Records)
Ms Wood - Buduy Mallari (FinComm)
Ms Metal - Jerome Ocampo (EducComm)
Ms Earth - Aga Retirado (SocioComm)

The competition rounds are: Talent, Evening Gown and Q&A. Money voting, which will start on Monday, 1pm, December 10, will comprise 50% of the final score.

________________

*Kanlungan, an alliance of organizations with tambayan at Palma Hall (CSSP), is happy to announce the Groundbreaking Ceremony for the initial phase of the new tambayan complex that will be built on the CSSP ground. This will be on December 12, 2007. The modern tambayan complex will replace the old dilapidated kiosks.

*Last December 5, 2007, UP Aguman participated in the Philippine Games competition of the PalakaSanlahi 2007. Despite finishing 4th overall (out of 6 orgs), the AguPips fought gallantly (really? Haha!). In fact, Andrew Santiago (Kadaya 2005A) even injured his hand is his valiant effort to catch the opponent during the Day-Night game (a type of tag or habulan game). In the morning, the Aguman Basketball Team won over their opponent, UP CVSF (Cagayan Valley Student Formation).


LEFT: AguPips pose before the Philippine Games begin
RIGHT: AguPips make fun of themselves with the loser sign as they lose the Calamansi Relay and Sack Race

*The Applicants Orientation for the second semester application was also held during the GenMeet by the MemComm. The applicants present were Demsen, Eggy and Carlo.

*FinComm would like to remind all residents with outstanding balances: re-aff fees, Pautakan 2007 shirts, unremitted fund raiser funds, etc to please settle immediately. Re-Aff fees (P50) must be paid to JOMS AND ANJ only.

*Monito Monita 2007 is handled by the Socio-Cultural Committee. The minimum amount is P100. To join, just contact Loree.

*SINING 2008 was formally launched! Yey! Tentative details are as follows:
February 2, New Era University
February 9, SM City Clark
More details soon!

Top 10 Most Metamorphic Members (Part 2)

By Binibining Bangs & Ginoong Guimaras

And we're back for the much-anticipated, most awaited Aslag Online post to date, hahaha! It was actually surprising the Part 1 was such a big hit, so we've tried our best to make the finale part bigger and bolder.

So, here we go!

To have a larger view of the pictures, just click them


Ginoong Guimaras (GG): Starting up the Top 5 is the not-that-Big-anymore Marco, the member formerly known as Wilmer Ong!
Binibining Bangsamoro (BB): What can I say, fly away! Haha! From the brainy-boy look to the rugged-out-of-bed-messy look! Haha! May nabubuhay na atang ecosystem sa buhok niya!
GG: Trulalu! Mete ya ing industriya ning sukle uling melugi la keng ena paggamit sukle Marco! Haha!
BB: Ali mu sukle nune pati aswe ampong Gatsby industry meg-red alert! Haha! Komusta ne man ing mature image na po-project ng not-that-Big-anymore Marco?!
GG: Wapin! From a wallpaper member na halus e bubulad, atin ya pang eku-buring-magbrand-titles-equal kayu-ngan-potential-kaku na ababalu, ngening MemComm Head ne, hahaha!
BB: Yeah, mekapag-graduate yang 12 new members! Dinalan na keng painum-inum at pa-tennis-tennis! Haha! From chow Marco to sporty stud muffin!
GG: In fairness, after sporting the ecosystem going on above his head for months, just recently, pepatuli este pepagupit ne ulit! Kaya uyta, me-revive ne na naman ing barbershop industry!
BB: Shoshal ang lolo mo!


BB: Next on the ladder of the 5 models of skin aging is the ex-Treasurer, ex-PMT officer, ex-Honey Cyrille!
GG: Haha! Actually, balamu pin, ex-child star ya rin eh, lawen mu ne man in BEFORE pic na!
BB: Naman! Lupa yang Johnson’s Baby Powder with lavender and chamomile dati!
GG: Pero ngeni, huwag ka, Pond’s Oil Blemish Control Powder na ing poproject ng atchi mu! Haha!
BB: Chever yan! Iba talaga ang nagagawa ng chever sa buhay ng isang babae! Blooming ya talaga! Look at the smile oh, may pang-aakit na nagaganap!
GG: Obvious na madakal ne a-add and a-minus keng buhay! Hehe! Lawen me pa ing pose na keng sofa, very suggestive! May pataas-taas pa siya ng paa! Atse, pota ating lugub lango keng palda mu, haha!
BB: Bet na bet for more experiment! Haha! Wag kayo, migbayu ne outlook in life!
GG: Kaya naman, ahoy to boys out there, go na!
BB: No! In true Powerpuff Girl fashion, the Cy don’t like BOYS, she likes MEN, ahahaha!



GG: Aba, aba, aba, kung “change” ing pisasabyan, kadagul na advantage nini, dahil iya ing pekamalambat nang member ning Aguman ngeni, hahaha!
BB: Balamu Eat Bulaga dava!? 25 years ne keng TV este Aguman! Haha! King kalwat na king org pwede neng maging historian galore! History ng tsismis! Haha!
GG: Wa naman! Dakal neng changes a a-witness, bwahaha! Len mu ne man dati oh, balamu ating yang drug addiction problem going on keng kapayatan! Pero ngeni, atyan kung atyan, hahaha!
BB: At braso kung braso pa! haha Like what he always say “makataba ing problema.”
GG: Nako, ali mu problema, issues galore pa of national security pa amo! Haha!
BB: Ika namong maging ‘King Fisher’?! Walang sikretong hindi nabubunyag! Hindi namin kayo tatantanan! Haha!
GG: But kidding aside, source of ‘wisdom’ daw ang lolo mo! Atin ya laging asasabi kareng egana-ganang issue!
BB: At isipan mu waring miras yang 2^nd year na ena balu nung nanu ing tinggil ning kipschi at pepa-drawing napa nung nanu hitsura ita, pero ngeni, iya pa mismu manuru kareng kids nung makananu mag-blow… Kandila ne, lalu na patse birthday! Hahaha!
GG: At ngeni oh, lawen mu naman ing ebidensya! Mag-lasing-lasing ne ngeni!
BB: Pero! Ang tanong ng bayan – atin ne bang apasukung Bataan ing bapa mu?!



GG: Good morning Miss Bangsamoro!
BB: Good morning Mr. Guimaras. You may now sit down. Bwahaha!
GG: Titser kung titser! Kulang namu magtinda yang tocino anyang app ya pa! Haha!
BB: Akakit yu naman, keng BEFORE pic na, balamu mendam yamung blusa y dara mu kang apu mu, hahaha!
GG: Hindi na ngayon! Move over Kitty Girls, paiksi nang paiksi ang palda ni lola!
BB: Hindi lang palda, kundi pati likod – feeling ku pin one of these days mapulmunya yang e oras y dara mu kareng almost-backless everyday-costumes na! Haha!
GG: Tas kabira, megpabakud ya ring ngipan!
BB: Wapen! Anya magsikap yang makipagobra king cybersex den este tutor pala! Haha!
GG: Kumikitang kabuhayan!
BB: Para sa kalantungan ng ngipan! Hahaha!
GG: Malwat ku nang suspetya eh, atin ya talagang pangarap na bituin y Loree. E wari, iya first ever me-video na Spotlight. Ngeni naman sa-cyber kermi ya pa, haha! Atin ya talagang exposure-hunger!
BB: Trulalu! Japanese la pa talaga reng customers este tutee na!
GG: Huwaw! Modern day Japayuki ang drama! Haha! Halina’t mangolekta ng lapad! Haha!
BB: Pero nanung asabi yu, Socio Chair ne ngeni. Kamusta naman kanu, pati ing bulletin board ning tambayan me-make over!
GG: Sus, pati nga theme para keng Sining na, present la ngan deng colors of the rainbow, bwahaha!



GG: And of course, the most metamorphic of them all, ing sex symbol ning Arki – Allandail!
BB: Wa ko ma-say sa monumental metamorphosis! From Disney Quasimodo to High School Musical Troy Bolton! Haha!
GG: Hindi to kakayanin ng Belo at Calayan Medical Groups! Haha!
BB: But seriously, bet naman ang lolo mo sa kabila ng very demanding Arki life nya – chevering sa kabila ng plates! Haha!
GG: How convenient! Bwahaha!
BB: Balita ku, mitatagkil yamu kareng kapwa na Arki zombies, feeling da mababastus nala. Al is that hawt! Wehehe!
GG: In addition to that, si Allan ay hindi lang pang eskwela, pansimbahan pa! Haha!
BB: Oooh, a heartthrob in cloth, bet ko yan!
GG: Muret! Ene man mag-pari eh! Mag-serve yamu keng parokya da. I wonder nung pati keng simbahan eh bet de rin deng COMI girls, hahaha!
BB: Kaya nga abihag ne ing pusu ng Teacher Loree. Dati kasi, atin ya ring dayang madre keng sobrang hinhin, hahaha!
GG: Nako, anya ping bayu yang salta y Allandail keng ka-Maynilaan kanita, promding-promdi yay koya mu! Maka-long-sleeve sweatshirt ya on a late summer day, haha!
BB: But that’s sooo over na mga kafatid! Check-it out nyo naman ang new and improved Chalk-cutie-boy-next-door image! Complete with shorts, flipflops and celebrity hair! Bongga!
GG: Betchina Marie! Panalong panalo para sa Lakan ng Sinukwan 2007! Saktung saktu, December pamo, hahaha!
BB: Looks, fashion sense, personality.. lahat ibang-iba na talaga!
GG: Metung a madagul a tsek! Holistic transformation ever!
BB: Kaya naman, deserve ne talaga ing #1 spot, diba?

Ginoong Guimaras: So there, mga kapatid sa Aguman, our countdown of the Top 10 Most Metamorphic Members!
Binibining Bangsamoro: Sana naman metula kayu kareng penyabi mi. Aminan yu, you almost wet your pants keng kaka-ayli, bwahaha!

GG: So who are we? That's a secret we will never tell!
BB: We know you love us.. XOXO!
GG & BB: Til our next churky countdown!


ABANGAN! The Least Metamorphic Member Contest Promo!

A Monologue Between 2 Entities

By The ½ Grinch and ½ Grinch
Originally published in the printed Aslag, Christmas issue, AY 2004-2005

Whoa!? Due to insistent academic demand, I barely noticed that Christmas season is just around the corner. The cold hanging amihan sends a comfortable chill through my bespectacled face. As I took my leisurely walk around the campus, I felt the warm aura emanating from the lovers making heat on the Sunken Garden. Then the cold Christmas wind blew again, but I was weak and I shivered. Suddenly, I wished that there was someone here with me. The thought that I would be alone again for the 19th Christmas of my life, screamed at my face. What a loser!

I can't help but feel stupid. I was alone for the past 18 years, why can't I extend the streak to 19 straight years? I gathered my thoughts. I tried to summon my rationality to fool again myself. Half-baked enlightenment began its glorious parade around my brain and I once again return to equilibrium. There are many ways to get this mushy season over with. I said to myself, keep yourself busy, don't let yourself think that you are alone. Find another synonym that would euphemistically uplift your spirit! Aha! I got one. How about calling myself unattached? Hmm, it’s too stupid. Single would be more appropriate. Step 1 is complete!

Debating class would always tell me that there are only 2 sides for each debate. To execute a multi-lateral kind would be too complicated and often ends up with unclear conclusion. Putting the concept of being ‘single’ in the Yuletide milieu would create two opposing views. One is being a sordid asshole feeling sorry for yourself that you have no one to specially spend this season of sharing with. And the other is just being cool about it. If you fall to the second category, you have no problem to worry about. But I, falling in the first category would need to clarify few things with myself.

To single out the main dilemma of feeling lonely being single, we can identify that the problem is only in one’s mind. If I keep thinking about things that I wish were there, then there would be no productive output at all. Ah! Keep myself busy during this Christmas break. I could bury my face with lots of readings or jog till my tongue touch the acad oval’s asphalt. How about playing computer games till I go blind? Hanging out with friends and drink till I drown is also a game plan. Exhausting myself with porno materials is an obvious option. Finally, I could be a turncoat to my current religion and shift to atheism, Islam or Buddhism. If I can't really turn away then, I would be a seasonal follower of an alternate religion every Christmas time. Then there would be no Christmas to worry about! Have I gone mad? Maybe.

Don’t be a tonto, enough of this pathetic crap. Why can't I think of better alternatives? Perhaps the insanity of being alone and single have already got me. Fight it off moron! You still have your family, you have your friends and still you have God. Why can't you be contented of what you presently have? Having a partner is only one of the factors that fill up your cathartic need for intimacy. There are other people more worthy and in need of your affection. Think about your parents and your family who supported all your economic, intellectual and affection needs. Do them a favor. Spend your Christmas with them and be happy about it. You have lots of friends who endured all your foolishness and triumphs. And most of all, God is up there waiting for his prodigal son to come back to Him. Isn't HE the main attraction of the Christmas celebration?

Now, I was shaken, broken, and freed from my self-made prison of shortsightedness and idiotic ways. Time will come that I wouldn’t be a single soul not only during Christmas but in every single day of the year.

So what is the battle plan for this Yuletide season? Hmm, just spend time with family, friends and keep saying to myself that I am happy. It will work. Trust me. After all, it is only a mind game.

Top Commenters for November 2007

Congratulations to our November 2007 winners!
1. FELIPE, 86.7 pts
2. Anj, 68.6
3. Kebs, 58.5

The rest of the Top 10 are:
4. Acey, 26.1 pts
5. Fergie, 23.5
6. Jean, 18.4
7. Bong, 18.1
8. Trish 15.7
9. Justin, 14.9
10. Gboi, 12.8

Thank you very much for supporting the Top Commenter of the Month promo! Sana adyang ala nang prize, lagi kayu pa ring mag-comment at mag-tag. At sana lalu yo pang aenjoy deng updates/artiks keni.

Stats for November 2007:
*33% increase in tags! Special mention to Kevin, Justin and Acey -- na umariba sa mga tags nila. Ano bang common denominator nila? *cough* C*e*e*! *cough*
*36% decrease in comments. Apparently, kawalan ang pananahimik nina Jill and John Carl, most especially Fergie. Fergie, enaka kasi mag-pigil! Pero kaysa naman mag-flood ka ne? Hehe!
*28% decreas in visits. Watchapend, close open?!

We had visitors (whether they are actual AguPips or just random people who stumble upon our blog, we don't know, haha!) from other countries. The top foreign countries are:
1. USA, 70
2. Hong Kong, 23
3. Ghana, UAE, 3
4. UK, Qatar, Canada & Switzerland, 2


And again, for the top and most intriguing search strings that led to our blog! Grabe, andaming stalkers ng mga AguPips, haha!
*Aslag
*Pautakan 2007
*Aslag Kapampangan
*Baskal sex
*sex baskal
*Dan Manalo
*Lea Wynetta Dizon
*John Carl Gozun
*Natasha Tabucal
*Donarber Pineda
*Bus balibago papunta enchanted
*Anna Lucia of San Fernando Pampanga
*Arvee movie tickets online
*Julie Riparip David
*Kayo Felipe
*Pie Pamintuan
*Kuratong Baleleng gang
*HFA academic team
*Bella pepesus
*Jann Nicolas
*may nangyari sex sa amin ng kuya ko
*etymology of styropore
*Roman Gulapa