By John Carl Gozun
Wearing sunglasses and drinking a can of mouth-watering cold Royal soft drink, I felt many emotions that may be considered cars almost bumping to each other just to head on to their destinations. This traffic may be caused by the malfunctioning semaphore. From yesterday until the negative infinity, I thought I was stronger than these emotions. I thought I was able to fix the traffic light so easily. However, with the many incidents that came up just last night, I now think otherwise.
I pity myself so much. I am a spoiled brat. I am a pain in the neck. I am the worst person to be anyone’s friend. I can’t even manage my emotions. These might have been caused by many people who criticize what I do, and those criticisms make my mind turn around. It doesn’t know what to do next.
In the morning, I thought of pampalubag loob. I was just joking myself that my heart just grew bigger, and that more room to grow up was created; my emo cells would say, “Go go go!”
Let’s make this text vaguer by adding “11 lines I’d like to tell 11 people.” This list is a mix of happy and sad lines.
1. I don’t know if I know you personally. I have been there to witness your every moment of joy. I have been at your side you break the silence and tease every friend we see. I quit you.
2. We’re better off this way. At least I don’t ask you many questions anymore. Join number 1.
3. Yup, it’s okay. You’ve been at my side for a long time, and I’m happy for that. Next time, I’ll give you something you can keep. PS: Don’t be on a diet, haha! Happy Birthday!
4. Sorry if I didn’t give you a chocolate last time in “Chocolate You.” Kahit Chocnut lang hehe. Seriously, I’m happy for our bond now – pointing at Bulaon Wheeler Team A and Team B. Remember, mas mahal sa Team B. Nyaha!
5. All I can tell you is himala. I dunno. You didn’t just searched for my mobile number, haha! Yung plate ko mamaya ha.
6. Please play “You belong to me” by Lifehouse. Please, please, please. I’m instituting a fan club here in your home country.
7. You’re an SA and a student. You should’ve known a student’s limitations when you shortened his time to do an ES1 plate. Ma’am was late, your lecture started at 9:30 am, the lab work started at 10:30 am, and you wanted us to submit the plate at 11:30? What the heck?! Nung dumating si ma’am, nag-agree naman siya sa’yo. Nakakagago, parang ang unannounced na ME 63 long exams.
8. I have a crush on you, pero iniiwasan mo’ko. Ayaw na kitang maging seatmate.
9. I like your blog entries. Can you give me some pieces of advice?
10. Ano va? ‘Di na kita nakikita? Ok ano? Hehehe! You always make me laugh ate.
11. You didn’t just block my video on YouTube! There is a lot of famous people who put licensed songs in their videos, but why me? Why me? I hate your management!
The next thing I know now is that I got home and ate sinigang. I’m quite smiling now, thank goodness. Writing might be my way of healing. I now believe in the power of the pen (I mean keyboard).
I don’t want revise this text. Neither do I want to erase what I have written above even if the feelings are starting to fade away. At least by the few next years, I will have seen my old self struggling until the end of the line, believing that there will always be a room to grow, knowing who the true and not-so-true friends are, and learning from his stupid mistakes.
It’s now 5 in the afternoon, and the dusk is coming. Tomorrow and forever, I will be a smarter, a more intelligent, and a rich guy; I will be able to fix the traffic light.